Feeling insecure about yourself in small things that you do or say in your everyday life can take a toll on you. Some are insecure about the way they look or smile or dress or how they perform at their job. There is always this sinking feeling that you can never do or get anything right.
Low self-esteem has been known to impact relationships as well. It builds up anxiety, unrest, jealousy and eventually impacts you and your partners relationship satisfaction.
Body shaming has become a large part of society mindset today due to the immense exposure to the social media network.
There is a constant need to get attention or approval from the network of people we don’t know and have not seen.
DETACH THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. AFFIRM YOUR VALUE
Things will not change overnight for the way you have trained your mind to think for the past few years. Even if you don’t feel confident today, the small baby steps you are taking now will eventually grow into bigger steps and keep you moving forward.
Take those small steps towards changing the way you feel about yourself.
Start with thinking about the things you are doing right. Assisting your co worker on the job, fixing your dad’s old car, buying groceries for mom or helping your neighbour with his wifi.
Focus on the contributions rather than you shortcomings.
MAKE YOU THE PRIORITY
Its ok to put your needs before everyone else’s. Sometimes to help others it’s important to take care of yourself and build up your self-worth first.
A few things that you can do for yourself :
If you have not been able to focus on getting fit, enrol into fitness classes
Get a massage
Do a social media detox
Ditch the zero figure diet and eat a healthy meal and sleep for 8 hours
Get dressed even for zoom meetings
Yoga helps. Try and mediate for about 30 minutes daily
LAUGH AT YOURSELF BEFORE OTHERS DO
Why wait for others to laugh at you. Make them laugh with you. All of us goof up with something or the other every day it’s a part of life. Find laughter in your goof ups rather than be embarrassed about it.
Everyone makes mistakes but beating yourself about it will only pull you in this negative cycle of self loathing and shame.
Accepting the mistakes and self forgiveness will also help you NOT lie your way out of the circumstance. Learn from the experience focus on the positive outcome.
BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU
Surround yourself with love and positivity. There is not a dearth of people out there who feeds on your low self esteem and negativity. Be around people who accept you as you are. If you’re surrounding yourself with so-called “friends” who make it a habit of pointing out your flaws, it’s a clear sign to find better company.
Seeing yourself through the eyes of those who care about you will help you appreciate your own unique qualities and perspectives.
BOOKS, THERAPY AND DOING THINGS THAT BRINGS YOU JOY
There is no social stigma attached in talking to a qualified therapist that can help you explore your insecurities. There are times when we want to talk to someone who can understand us better and help dissect our fears and bring more structure to our thoughts and approach life more confidently.
Reading books on self-therapy and self-healing are a good way to work through our maze of thoughts. Reading about life stories that others have to offer, you may find yourself relating to those that make you feel that you are not alone.
There are countless books on the subject.
A few of our recommendations are below
Last but not the least, do things that bring you joy. Whether is cooking a good meal, reading a romantic novel (even if you are 60 romance does not need to die!), take up a hobby you wanted to try but just didn’t find the time.Music is a good start.